truly, madly deeply

I need some detox really. Have some nice time spent in  Berlin, with great people... had once again broken heart by Morten... unfortunately he sung without his mates from band... shame... pictures were fantastic, he is in his top form, just superb... something is missing... this magic... even though bought another ticket and will be again in Oslo, hopefully working again as the part of party - team...  just try to live my dream... but actually I am UNDECIDED

BUTTERFLY, BUTTERFLY ...

Trying to say good bye is so hard.
I saw the last concert, I saw it last time when I was in Oslo.
I fulfilled my desire and now I want to think that we can all start once again.
This was truly emotional, and thanks to my friend I survived this.

I was in Oslo Spektrum on this concert and watching it once again was so powerful and strong experience.
Then I was falling apart, and now I don't feel any better

A-ha music is still alive and it is very important part of my life. I try to combine all my memories and my feelings to create my "AHA MEMORY BOX". Probably I will  start from  translating all A-ha songs to Polish. I want to see if there is so much poetry... I don't know how much time it will take but I will try ...

Camera image ...

I have this one object of my desire ... This is my camera. I love taking pictures.
I've changed lately so much, so now my camera image is totally different than this from about a year ago. 


I like to pose.I've never been  so brave in front of camera. My friend Iza is the best photographer for me. She can make fantastic picture of me. I made myself several photos and they were quite good I must admit. 


If you never liked your body, hid never-ever to show how you look like - that you found me. 
I was that kind of girl. I think I'm still that person inside...and nothing gonna change that ...no matter what. 
But if I see something beautiful, dramatic, superb I want to make a recording from it ... that is why I make a pictures. 

desire

Let's speak French today baby…) 
Pour les albums... et pour tous les, les timbres neufs doivent être conservés dans des pochettes afin qu'ils sur... les bords endommagés... le matériel pour plastifier ....les albums ont des timbres qui tiennent... les marques de différents fabricants contre... des timbres... des timbres destinés à des albums de... Pièces de monnaie pour les cartes téléphoniques... pour les cartes postales ...


ohh yes I would if I could, but unfortunately I don't speak French... This is Magne's rap from A-ha's Cannot Hide. 
Lately I adore this song. It makes me feel special. I always  hear it on my earphones. I don't understand why it is so seducing.  There are so many others great A-ha songs. I love them all but Cannot hide is THE SONG. It fulfills my need for sweet man talk ... I have lack of this in my life. Warmth gives me my  fleece blanket and a big cup of hot tea with lemon. 
So it is again the end of the year, and I still... I didn't think that I will feel this way again. But last I was happy because I had goal... Now I think that setting a new target will be very difficult...

Henny, army and A-HA ...

It was 3rd of Dec and I was in Oslo after my first A-ha gig... Still full of love for them and so so grateful for The Swing of Things Book autographs ... YEEESSSS!!! I met them 1st of Dec when they were signing A-ha biography. I was so overwhelmed by this and couldn't speak ... Mags asked me about this why there is no any dedication, I said that I hadn't any piece of paper and pen :( But I still have very their autographs :))) It was soo awesome. 

But back to point. It was 3rd of Dec and I was preparing A-ha fan party. So many things to do, hell of work. The venue was fantastic. Our guru - Catherine was full of energy and she was so funny. Great person. 

And one of girls Stefanie told that she has spare ticket for last concert. I said that I can buy it. She said OK. So the price was high but it was worth of it all. 

A-ha fan party was superb. So many people, this was so nice to meet my FB friends in real life. 

I loved my friend Kati and Deni from the first sight... They are fantastic :))) So cool :) We were dancing, talking and drinking - me water and cola, the rest of the crew - don't know. 

Job was so so exhausting ... But we were very brave, we managed all tasks. Even people who were in huge amount. 

4th of Dec -meeting with the rest of FB friends, lunch. Early in the morning waved goodbye to my friend Kati. She went back home. After meeting gone with  Deni for small shopping, bought super sweater. 

Then I must  say goodbye to my dear another friend - Deni. Had shower and went to Oslo Spektrum. It was something that I was dreaming about from one year... I was there again  for last goodbye.

When guys were talking to each other on the stage and fans were reacting to that - Pal started to speaking ... This was so fantastic that all people went crazy. We ended up with Pal's name on our mouths.

This was unbelievable ... I couldn't speak I couldn't cry... I just couldn't.

The last bow, the last hug, the last kiss from Morten lips went into the air ... There will be no more A-ha ... 

I wanted to speak with somebody, so so badly... I was feeling bad, like somebody would take my heart away. It is no more A-ha... NO MORE A-HA. 

I think that Mr. God was sad, that day because when I was on my way back to the hotel it started snowing ... I sang very quietly Angel in the Snow... 

5th of Dec - new person in my dorm. She is 21, sweet, pretty and wears uniform. She lives in far North of Norway. Her name is Henny. She is talkative, on her way home... Happy and so young. Still 7 months of duty in army. 

She was person who talked with me that very sad Sunday. She changed me... This was so simple :))) Henny you don't know what you've done, but this was soo fantastic. Thanks to young, pretty, brave and very good girl I've thought that I can do everything. Henny little G.I. Jane thank you. 

Airplane went off in to the air, with rising sun. Blue sky didn't erase my pain. I still feel dizzy and very empty. 

Trying to be still so tough and solid ...and feel happy, without the soundtrack of my life...

 Solaris